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Lights Profile
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Registered: 06-2003
Location: Anyplace on Water
Posts: 1780
Re: Spirits/Ghosts


No prob, Graham. I understand...I have been going on caffeine fumes and about four hours of sleep a night for the past few months, so believe me, I understand.

Wills, you are so right...Will was loved and respected by all who knew him...he was, as Capt. Bertie Hayes so aptly put it, "our brightest star".

---
"What I remember about that night- what I will remember as long as I live- is the people crying out to each other as the stern began to plunge down. I heard people crying, 'I love you.'"
Jun/23/2004, 12:17 pm Link to this post Send Email to Lights   Send PM to Lights AIM Yahoo Blog
 
graham 01 Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


Hi Lights

You know me well enough to know it is not tiredness that was the main concern yesterday, But yes I do work on coffee fumes and no sleep, I like it that way most of the time, keeps one alert:-)

I was just not reading posts that well, But i will be today, If I can master the strengh, a bit off today in health wise I think but will survive.

Again I am sorry for the mis reading, Maybe I should learn to read as well as spell :-)




---
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Jun/23/2004, 2:37 pm Link to this post Send Email to graham 01   Send PM to graham 01 Blog
 
MurdochsAid Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


quote:

Lights wrote:

I am going mostly on impressions here...I do know that Will loved his da more than almost anything in this world...worshipped the ground that he walked on...I did get the distinct impression that he felt that nothing he ever did was good enough for his da. Now i say impression because I never got the chance to speak to Captain Murdoch about anything after Will's death. It was just this impression of this--inadequacy that I was getting from Will.

I have heard from another Murdoch reincarnatee...or at least a woman who once carried a fair bit of Murdoch within her say that he was abused by his father...but as for carved in stone proof of this...in all honesty I cannot say that it happened...Will never mentioned anything like that during his life...but then he would not...he was an officer and a gentleman who did not believe in complaining and the way he loved his da...no, nothing would ever have been said...




You're right, Lightsy, he didn't complain, but kept things that deeply hurt him, bottled-up inside him instead...which wasn't good, and nor was it healthy for him to do so. He instead, tried (like a clown hiding behind a happy face mask, with a tear drawn under one eye) to give himself a Pollyannish impression on life. Although, like you said, one could always see the deep sadness in his beautiful hazel-brown eyes. Which "we" know, caused him to unravel towards the end, aboard Titanic, don't we?

Another thing, so as to not disappoint his father, regarding his standing as a chief officer in a letter he wrote his sister, Peg (my sister-in-law), he told her...

quote:

8th April 1912, his known comment on his on this development: I am still Chief Officer until sailing day + then it looks as though I will have to step back, but I am hoping it will not be for long. The head Marine supt. from L'pool seemed to be very favourably impressed + satistfied that everything went A1 + as much as promised that when Wilde goes I am to go up again.

The only feeling Will expressed is hope that the demotion would only be for a short time. Far more interesting, however, are the other parts relating to the officers' reshuffle, Will writes "it looks as though I will have to step back" - just like anybody had a choice - but, then he also confessed: "as much as promised that when Wilde goes I am to go up again" which indicates that everything was already fixed. Amongst all this, seemingly a bit out of context, Will tells that "that head Marine Superintendent from Liverpool seemed to be favourably impressed and satisfied that everything went A1" - why this beating about the bush?

Of course, the demotion irked Will, but it was harder by far to break the news to his sister, and thus to his parents. Especially his old man would certainly have been very quick in asking: "Where did you fail? What did you do wrongly? How could this happen to you?" - Hence this reassuring: "Everything's alright, the superiors are favourably impressed and satisfied and when Wilde goes I am to go up again. Nothing to worry about, really just a temporary set back and no bad reflection on me". ~ "WMM: A Career At Sea" by Suzanne Stormer



Then in his letter to his parents (my in-laws), dated 11th, April 1912, it is mentioned...

quote:

He reported the incident with the New York in a few words but omitted the role he played in it - just as he omitted that it had not only looked like as though he had to step back but that he indeed was only serving as 1st Officer. So his parents must have been under the impression that their son still was Titanic's chief officer. He thought that by not telling his father about his demotion, his father did not need know everything...and when he was promoted to chief officer again after the first voyage, the record was more or less straight again. ~ "WMM: A Career At Sea"



Out of deep fear of how his father would react to his demotion, Will was actually insinuating that 'what his father did not know, would not hurt him'. Again, there is that deep fear of complete failure feeling, of disappointing his father thing. This what I am referring to, and as to what you said in a latter post, Lightsy, Will being "cowed" by his father, which is another form of him feeling in his deeply depressed state. It was a combination of his depression and deeply seeded fear of his father that finally drove him over the edge that dreadful night of 15th April 1912, that caused him to end it all by the taking of his own life. He could not face his father's wrath, about how Titanic come to founder in the North Atlantic in the first place. Plus he felt that his father was much better off with out him. That is what Will has been wanting me to convey to you here.

And therefore, because Will is trying to speak out through me, I beg of you to please refrain from making him feel unwelcomed on this board...as well as knocking him down for speaking out. He is perfectly entitled to express his thoughts and feelings here as well as everybody else.

Thank you.

edited by MurdochsAid, Jun/23/2004, 7:44 pm


---
Love can touch us one time and last for a life time.
And Never let go till we're gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to.
In my life we'll always go on. ~ "My Heart Will Go On" by James Horner & Will Jennings
Jun/23/2004, 2:59 pm Link to this post Send Email to MurdochsAid   Send PM to MurdochsAid
 
Lights Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


Again this is second-hand and impressions, but another thought is that if Captain Murdoch were to be upset at the demotion...and obviously Will was concerned he would be...why get him upset over something that would be remedied on the 27th of April, upon the ships scheduled return to Southampton? By then the demotion would have been something of a moot point.

---
"What I remember about that night- what I will remember as long as I live- is the people crying out to each other as the stern began to plunge down. I heard people crying, 'I love you.'"
Jun/24/2004, 1:20 am Link to this post Send Email to Lights   Send PM to Lights AIM Yahoo Blog
 
MurdochsAid Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


quote:

Lights wrote:

Again this is second-hand and impressions, but another thought is that if Captain Murdoch were to be upset at the demotion...and obviously Will was concerned he would be...why get him upset over something that would be remedied on the 27th of April, upon the ships scheduled return to Southampton? By then the demotion would have been something of a moot point.



Good point there, Lights. That is what Will was thinking then, but at the time he wrote his folks, he hadn't counted on the impending disaster to happen, did he?


---
Love can touch us one time and last for a life time.
And Never let go till we're gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to.
In my life we'll always go on. ~ "My Heart Will Go On" by James Horner & Will Jennings
Jun/24/2004, 2:46 pm Link to this post Send Email to MurdochsAid   Send PM to MurdochsAid
 
Lights Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


No, I don't expect he was.

---
"What I remember about that night- what I will remember as long as I live- is the people crying out to each other as the stern began to plunge down. I heard people crying, 'I love you.'"
Jun/24/2004, 3:15 pm Link to this post Send Email to Lights   Send PM to Lights AIM Yahoo Blog
 
MurdochsAid Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


...Yet, from what we (you & I surmised), Lights, Will blamed himself for both Titanic's collision with the berg...as well as for the shooting of that 3rd Class/steerage passenger, that led up to his suicide.

It is because he feels Lill's disbelief about his suicide, that he finds it hard to believe that she is claiming to be his recarnate. When you, yourself, saw him do the deed. He wonders, how can this be true?

Ada

---
Love can touch us one time and last for a life time.
And Never let go till we're gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to.
In my life we'll always go on. ~ "My Heart Will Go On" by James Horner & Will Jennings
Jun/24/2004, 3:40 pm Link to this post Send Email to MurdochsAid   Send PM to MurdochsAid
 
Lights Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


As I have written over at BTT...A, if Lill has a fraction of Will's soul within her, it is only too possible that this fragment is in denial about what happened.

Just as a little aide here...ask will what his helm and engine orders were that night and send me pm, OK. Will check when I get home...

edited by Lights, Jun/24/2004, 4:08 pm


---
"What I remember about that night- what I will remember as long as I live- is the people crying out to each other as the stern began to plunge down. I heard people crying, 'I love you.'"
Jun/24/2004, 4:07 pm Link to this post Send Email to Lights   Send PM to Lights AIM Yahoo Blog
 
MurdochsAid Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


Still, to this day, Will causes me to experience severe headaches on the right side of my head. Whenever he gets terribly upset about something, it is there that he experiences the most pain through me.

And, he's been upset a lot this weekend too.emoticon

---
Love can touch us one time and last for a life time.
And Never let go till we're gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to.
In my life we'll always go on. ~ "My Heart Will Go On" by James Horner & Will Jennings
Jun/29/2004, 2:48 am Link to this post Send Email to MurdochsAid   Send PM to MurdochsAid
 
graham 01 Profile
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Re: Spirits/Ghosts


This topic has been moved to the archive forum if used will be reinstalled.

Graham

---
Why dont people do what they say nowadays http://www.freewebs.com/hms-kellington/
http://www.freewebs.com/graham7760/index.htm
http://www.freewebs.com/hmsroyaloak/
Jul/9/2004, 4:40 pm Link to this post Send Email to graham 01   Send PM to graham 01 Blog
 
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